The search for enlightenment is more often than not, and if one digs deep enough, found to be for personal gain. The seeker may protest and cry, no it is the opposite, I want peace or I want to be one with god etc. If we examine that more closely, whatever the apparent purpose, is for personal reasons, wanting to be one with god or at peace is always personal, how can be otherwise.
Often the seeking of enlightenment is for personal power. To gain status and recognition, to be seen to others that I have arrived. This of course is going to upset a few ardent seekers who doth protest. But after many hours, years even of speaking with many who associate themselves with being a seeker and who are honest, myself included, it is often a power play, a lofty height where ‘I’ am untouchable, at long last. No one has ever as yet shown me what enlightenment even looks like. We’ve been told it exists but in what form as yet remains a mystery.
The belief in enlightenment is just that, a belief, we’ve been told it so often through the ages that it must be true. So many have claimed to be enlightened, surely that’s proof enough. The me lives in states and the sense that time is real, that I am real. Therefore enlightenment is a real state and happens in time. Enlightenment becomes part its story.
One of two things may happen whilst reading this.
Firstly one may dig deep and be honest and reflect that yes, I want enlightenment so that I have gotten somewhere, somewhere profound, I’ve made it. But if one looks and admits in all honestly, that it is for my own gain and sense of self worth.
Secondly one may get really annoyed with the author, that I am challenging this paradigm and making a mockery of it. They may claim that this thing called enlightenment is real ( because they were told about it and therefore know it to true).
The thing is, what is true? Can we really say that anything is true. Is my own sense of a personal I true? Can it even be found? If we cannot even find the personal I no further than it just being a claim, then how can enlightenment be found if it is not even here and only a mere projection into some imagined future.
The me projects everything into its own story world. Enlightenment is a comfortable path and at the same time a pain in the ass as it’s a frustration and a battle that never seems to end. It is a comfortable path as the obvious nature of all there is..well..what is...here..is too dull and boring and doesn’t add to the story nor to the glory. It’s not a grand ending for a personnel story is it really..just this. Though some people can even weave that into something that glorifies them, go figure.